20 June 2009

They're at it again...

The burrowing vermin. I loathe them with the heat of a thousand suns. At our old residence, we had them, but they rather limited themselves to the side yard where no one gardened and no one ever went, except the dog who would participate in epic excavation efforts. We figured it kept her out of trouble and gave her some exercise.

Now, though, I’m finding what I suspect are pocket gophers burrowing everywhere. Along the front pad of our front patio one evening, I could see the ground undulating with the creature’s progress. Attempts to capture and dispatch this particular little troll were brutally rebuffed and we were left with an empty shovel and no furry sojourner.

Seriously, they’re driving me mad! While I’m not near the point of blasting craters in my yard with a shotgun (yet), I have reached the point of pondering my mental health (no comments from the peanut gallery or my family, please) as a result of my attempts to rid my yard of burrowing vermin.

I’ve been told about and tried a lot of different things. Flooding the runs with water. Perhaps I should offer soap as well, since they seem to enjoy this. Gopher bombs? Hmph. Insert your favorite 420 joke here. I think they like it. It’s probably a big ol’ gopher party down there every time I set one off. Sonic gopher spikes. Well, yesterday morning there was a gopher mound literally RIGHT NEXT TO the fancy solar spike that was brought to me with pride, since it was on sale and didn’t require batteries. RIGHT NEXT TO IT. Yaaaaah!

I even forced a friend to drive me out to Gold Hill in search of Euphorbia lathyris, commonly known as Caper Spurge or Mole Plant. Truth be told, I actually thought I was looking for Castor Bean Plant (ricinus communis), and had to drive back and forth several time before I found “a weedy looking plant that had just set seed pods”. What I found was Mole Plant, when I was looking for the large, distinct leaves of the Castor Bean. Sigh. So, I leaped out of the truck, whacked off several hands-full and stuffed them in a bucket. Thus far, my attempts to root them are not working so well, but I suspect that I will – at least – get some seeds with which I can infest my yard.

Euphorbia lathyris, commonly known as Mole Plant, is an annual with opposite, lance shaped leaves which is often grown as an ornamental plant. It’s not really “weedy” looking, as I stated above. It’s somewhat attractive and interesting looking. Caper Spurge, as it is also known (and spurge is so much more fun to say) does occasionally occur as a weed on roadsides (like the ones I was directed to – Thank YOU, Russell!) and pastures. I’m finding that this is not all that common. Toward the top of the plant the leaves change into a triangular shape and have a conspicuous white vein in the center. When you break one of these plants, a sticky, white sap comes out. The flowers are fairly inconspicuous and will occur on the upper portions of the plant, yellow in color. The seed pods are roundish and appear to be in three sections, put together. It’s those seeds that I’m really after! Supposedly, it’s the roots and the seeds that are noxious to gophers. Mole Plant doesn’t kill them – They just go away. At this point, I’d be OK with dead gophers, but disappearing gophers would be cause for celebration. Careful with this plant – it is said to be poisonous.

Unlike the Castor Bean, these plants grow about four feet tall, but take up the space of about one foot in diameter, like a tower. They self seed when the plant falls over from drying out in the fall. I’ve heard that folks have been successful growing it with soil that is hard, high clay content, with minimal watering even through hot, dry summers.

With regard to Castor Bean, which I personally am going to try in my quest to rid my yard of varmints, it is a big, attractive, fast growing plant with huge exotic looking leaves. I found seeds from my favorite online shopping source and got three different colors. I have LOTS of varmints.

Castor Bean can be sown directly outdoors or started 6 to 8 weeks before the last average frost date indoors. They can also be planted just about any other time when frost isn’t an issue. Soak your seeds for 24 hours in warm water, then plant about an inch deep. Plant them outdoors in full sun. Castor Beans like rich, well drained soil, so dig in a few spades full of compost into the soil where you’ll be planting. Keep the soil evenly moist and mulch well. As your Castor Bean blooms, you can deadhead unless you are thinking to gather beans for future planting. In that case, you’ll want to let the seed pods form and gather them up. Fertilize with a good organic fertilizer every four to six weeks. Castor Bean gets big, fast. You may need to stake your plants. They’ll need plenty of space, so keep this in mind when planting or plan on doing lots of pruning otherwise. Tear out and discard the plants when frost gets them in the fall. If you’re in one of the warmer areas, you could treat it as a perennial, cutting it back and mulching heavily for over-wintering.

Both the Mole Plant and Castor Bean are said to be poisonous. I researched this and found a wide range of opinion on toxicity. I have also found it said that poinsettia is poisonous, but have been unable to locate any reports of death to humans or animals. Best to err on the side of caution and keep small children and livestock away from your Castor Beans. Deer do not eat Castor Bean.

Getting back to the varmints…

The other methods for getting rid of moles and gophers include traps with such medieval monikers as “scissor” traps, “choker” traps and “harpoon” traps. Nice. There are also live traps, but that begs the question of what to do with the varmint once you catch it.

I’ve read of a method, with no testimony to back it up, of opening a number of varmint tunnels, pouring in a baby food jar full of gasoline into each, waiting a bit for the fumes to flood the tunnels and then lighting the tunnels. Definitely not ecologically sound and rather brings to mind crowds of adolescent boys having a lark.

Daffodils, squill, anything in the allium (onion/garlic family), Mexican marigolds and fritillaria are all said to repel varmints. My varmints actually like squill, I think. Probably with a nice vinaigrette. Your mileage may vary. And you may wind up growing ONLY those things, if you’re really infested with a subterranean invasion.

I’ve heard that gum of the Juicy Fruit variety will kill varmints. Now that we’ve spent something equaling the National deficit on gum and fumigator bombs, I think I can categorically state that somewhere there’s a gopher who could be the world bubble blowing champion if only they’d let him into the contest. As for the bombs, again, insert your favorite 420 joke here. I bought castor oil, thinking that if they didn’t like the plant, how could they like the oil? Aside from the fact that it does not come in the convenient 50 gallon drum, I suspect that the varmints are moisturizing with it.

Hair clippings from the salon? Um, don’t think so. They may have taken up weaving rugs and blanket for their dens, because it sure isn’t killing them or driving them away. Used cat litter? My dog is having a field day with that one. M-80’s? I heard my neighbor using them, but they still have moles. And craters.

Of course, with the number of Dachshunds in Rogue River, you could probably find someone who would bring the little rodent-wieners to your house to excavate the vermin, but do you really want you yard dug up like that? I don’t.

So, with great sighing, eye rolling and the wringing of hands, I’m closing this week with the request for any suggestions for gopher removal, destruction or repellant. I’d love to hear it. In the meantime, I’m waiting on my Castor Bean seeds…

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